He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
