I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
