Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
