I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
