i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
