Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wear drunk well.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
