My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
