Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
