Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
