I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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