it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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