So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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