I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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