He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
