Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
