Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
