I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize