So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
