I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
