Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
