So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
