either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
