I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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