Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
