dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
