try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
