xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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