Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
