He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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