I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
