i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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