he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
