He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
