my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
