trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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