so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
