Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
