whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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