shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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