WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
