Its about making memories worth repressing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize