After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this boner is exhausting
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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