she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
