I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize