walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
