There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
