she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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