Welp...herpes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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