Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
