I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
