girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
