Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize