I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
