Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
operation have a gay friend backfired
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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