Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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