how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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