Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
