True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
