i already hear my dad disowning me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
