It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
