i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
