What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
