he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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