This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
