so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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