I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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