I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
